tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53397115046065617712024-03-05T21:31:19.325-08:00The Front Yard FrontierLove Your Neighborhood!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.comBlogger103125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-4389338504814859762015-07-24T13:39:00.001-07:002015-07-24T13:54:49.346-07:00We Like People Who Weren't MurderedI'm done with Walter White & Frank Underwood. I'm done with Tony Soprano & Nucky Thompson. I'm done with Jax Teller, and yes even 'good guy' gone serial killer, Dexter. Men who beat, rape, and murder. Who are sexist, racist, and will do anything to stomp out anyone in their path to get their own way. Somehow- these men- these evil, evil men- have been written into the fabric of modern entertainment story-lines as people we can relate to; people we at times are even encouraged to route for. When did the anti-hero become the new hero? I for one, am done.<br />
<br />
<b>I don't want to route for the bad guy anymore. </b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Because this morning when I logged onto Facebook, the first alerts and images I saw were of a real life bad guy. As I scrolled through my Facebook feed, he was everywhere I looked. This man had just shot 2 dead, and wounded eight others. <i>Their</i> faces, <i>their</i> stories, I did not yet know. But his, <i>his</i> was everywhere. Already immortalized because he ruthlessly and senselessly murdered strangers in a movie theatre and then took his own life in the process rather than face justice for his crimes.<br />
<br />
Of Vietnam POW John McCain, Donald Trump quipped sarcastically recently, "He is not a war hero...he's a hero because he was captured. I like people who weren't captured." And sadly, there's a sting to what he said that goes beyond dishonoring McCain or other prisoners of war. Sadly, we seem to say it to victims and their families every time a tragedy like the recent Lafayette shooting occurs. Whether I want to or not, I will forever remember the face of the Aurora shooter, the Columbine boys, and Charles Manson. But, I cannot remember what even one Sandy Hook victim looked like. Why?<br />
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<b>Because, we Americans, we like people who weren't murdered.</b> That's who keeps showing up again and again in the stories we tell, in news feeds and history lessons- in music, in pictures, in films. The anti-hero staring at us again and again, article after article with a depraved, satisfied expression. We're telling ourselves whether we realize it or not: THIS is what it looks like to be on top, to have power, to enjoy life, to avoid being the victim. It's painful to think of the alternative: that we feel powerless against senseless acts of violence committed repeatedly and randomly against innocent people in this country. It's painful to actually stare into the faces of victims and realize- they are the faces of those we should have valued enough in the first place to end this terror. To vote in favor of policies and protections which would prevent these kinds of senseless tragedies in the future. It's scary to think that they are the ones WE would actually resemble should a tragedy like this hit close to home. Victims for no other reason than for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Everyday people with simple, everyday worries and joys- decidedly undramatic and un-newsworthy.<br />
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Unless we choose to stop reading, choose to stop watching, choose to stop secretly admiring and romancing the anti-hero- he will continue to creep up in our Newsfeeds and on our TV screens. Luring us into a false sense of what it means to be strong and safe in this country. Let's fight for what is right and what is good. Let's remember the victims and their families and remember, with clarity, that it very well could have been (and still could be) any one of us. Let's end, once and for all our toxic, toxic relationship with the anti-hero. Who has never, and never will be, any kind of hero at all.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-62363900203775273612014-10-22T10:52:00.000-07:002014-10-22T10:58:01.993-07:00HELP!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0T9sx_d8T9qJTKLG8cx3P711Wxy7PqTaq9uRmgWAGUOIRbvWRtYFMq1l7DUH7XQ2C5923dXasNlXL68cOaA6-YVFC5ztGCX3sVWnRvovT5YENqFM-eqmlZ18C6BBUv5oCRKtR8SE_RkU/s1600/kid+running+toward+the+street.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj0T9sx_d8T9qJTKLG8cx3P711Wxy7PqTaq9uRmgWAGUOIRbvWRtYFMq1l7DUH7XQ2C5923dXasNlXL68cOaA6-YVFC5ztGCX3sVWnRvovT5YENqFM-eqmlZ18C6BBUv5oCRKtR8SE_RkU/s1600/kid+running+toward+the+street.jpg" height="428" width="640" /></a></div>
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<br />
I recently was talking with a friend from another country. She said something that stuck with me, so I thought I'd share it with you.<br />
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She said that once her son was running up a busy street in our city. He passed many well meaning adults on the busy sidewalk, but no one thought to stop him. Instead, every adult he passed just looked helpless as she chased down her son, afraid he'd run into the street. She said in Norway, if a kid were running from his parents like that, other adults would step in, would help her. But, in the US, she's learned we've all become afraid of the consequences of stepping in. She was on her own.<br />
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I thought of her yesterday, as my son in just a few seconds, had darted dangerously toward the street. I was screaming my lungs out and sprinting toward him, but he only thought that was all the more funny and he kept lunging toward the street.<br />
<br />
Luckily the driver driving towards us on the street that day had his window open and heard my blood curdling screeching. But, even as I saw the car driving toward my son slowing to a stop, I was worried that any car behind him would simply speed around, not see my son, and hit him.<br />
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As I ran toward him, I hoped, I prayed that the person who had slowed down their car would actually stop, get out, and grab my son before he kept running across the road. But, I knew in my heart that that scenario was unlikely. Strangers don't often step in such an aggressive way. It's just too risky. What if they're not <i>wanted</i>?<br />
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I once held my newborn baby in my arms, and slipped, falling with her in my arms. As I was about to fall to the ground, face forward with her in my arms, the man I was walking with faltered, not knowing if he should catch me. When I got up, I said to him, "Why didn't you help?" And he said, "I'm sorry, you're such a strong, independent woman. I didn't know if you'd <i>want</i> my help."<br />
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"When a baby is about to be dropped on the ground, don't ask, just help!" I said. We both had a good laugh, but it's true. Are we really so afraid of not being wanted that we can't grab a toddler running into the street? That we can't catch a falling baby before she hits cement?<br />
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Next time you're in a situation where there's real danger, when someone could be hurt, when you're stepping in is desperately needed but you're not sure it's wanted- error on the side of helping. Truly, if someone's life is on the line, help first, then check in.<br />
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As it turns out, my son didn't run all the way into the road. I sprinted toward him and in one split second (thank God) he decided to turn and laugh- coaxing me to come closer before speeding off again. I gained on him and swooped him up just in time. But, things could have gone a completely different way, and if they had, it wouldn't have hurt to have help.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-84696310308382527382014-08-14T07:52:00.001-07:002014-08-14T07:52:41.497-07:00Do Your Part<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">The first day after a death, the new absence</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Is always the same. We should be careful</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Of each other, we should be kind</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">While there is still time. -Phillip Larkin</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I’m feeling so very tender about world events right now. Gaza, Syria, Iraq, Africa. That another human being's last moments can be filled with such sickness, grief, violence, torture, and despair at the hands of another human being anywhere in the world brings me to my knees with deep grief and repentance. It makes me feel that my own life is so very small, so incredibly fragile.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I'm feeling very tender about the suicide of Robin Williams and the recent suicide of missing Oregon wife and mother of 2, Jennifer Huston. That there is a force so dark it can cause someone with so much depth, love, and joy in their life to end it all is heartbreaking. My fear is that I cannot tell another person ‘it gets better’ because I haven’t walked their walk, and I honestly don’t know that it does. It makes me feel helpless to love as well as I'd like to, those who are walking through life right beside me, hurting in silence. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">This world is terribly, terribly broken. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> am so terribly, terribly broken.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.</span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">The worst part is, we all want to believe that if we had done something differently, the tragedies we see in our lives and on the news could have been avoided. We comb through the history of our own lives, and the history of mankind with this lens. If we have the best intentions, subscribe to the right political ideology, or champion the most effective child-rearing philosophy we can move through life without ever having to experience the grief inflicted by simply doing life with other hurting people.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">But, the people closest to any tragedy know differently. They know that they did everything they could, and yet still here they are: sitting right in the middle of the devastation. Future prevention, present postulations, all the meaning making in the world doesn’t make it hurt any less. Doesn’t make this one tragedy, this one loss any more or less real. </span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here we are, right in the center of the darkness. </span></div>
<b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></b>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Times like these, I feel desperate to end suffering for those I love and for those I don’t even know. And yet, I feel helpless to do a single thing about it for even one person I know, let alone the millions around the world I cannot possibly reach.That my mark on this world is so unremarkable is both soul-crushing and liberating. The fact remains, I am far less powerful than I want to believe. And yet the solution for me is this simple: </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">do my part.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Let go of the need to see any tangible evidence that my life, or my efforts mattered. To give beauty for ashes, that’s God’s job, not mine.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Create in me a clean heart, O God</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">and renew a right spirit within me.</span></div>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Do </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">your</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> part. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Just give. Just love. Just serve. Right now. You don’t need to know why or how or </span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">if</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> what you do will even make a difference. Have faith that it will, and let it go.Today I will kiss my baby’s fat, sweaty feet. Hold my husband a little longer. Go to therapy.</span><a href="http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Learn more about suicide prevention and depression.</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Buy a friend flowers for her doorstep. </span><a href="http://theartofsimple.net/shopping/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Choose to shop in places where my money does more good than harm.</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Donate money to organizations that are sending relief in </span><a href="http://www.cnn.com/2013/09/06/world/iyw-how-to-help-syrian-refugees/" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Syria</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, </span><a href="https://www.unicefusa.org/donate/help-children-affected-violence-iraq?gclid=CjwKEAjw9qafBRCRiYrL4-fpuFkSJACvocQ1HBYoorfK8C43ySTwNg106_7tT44M1_iitODI894ITBoCGvnw_wcB" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Iraq</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">, Gaza, and </span><a href="http://www.directrelief.org/emergency/2014-west-africa-ebola-outbreak/?gclid=CjwKEAjw9qafBRCRiYrL4-fpuFkSJACvocQ1ptNWqS6QruvzKGDmx8nfHseIowLbVkfQ8POX5XdxQhoClqDw_wcB" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #1155cc; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Africa</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. </span></div>
<br /><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because, a changed heart (more tender, more open, right here, right now), is the only candle I have to light in the darkness of it all.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-84251274307350952732014-06-10T13:02:00.002-07:002014-06-10T13:02:40.819-07:00Around the Campfire: Lessons Learned From Finally Meeting My Neighbors<div style="background-color: white; font-family: HelveticaNeue, 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, 'Lucida Grande', sans-serif; font-size: 16px;">
Love this guest post from my dear Sister in Law, Erin Smith, on the power of an simple, spontaneous get together to build community.</div>
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"My husband and I are guilty of nicknaming our neighbors. We live in close proximity not to the Johnsons, Garcias, and Potters, but to the “Secret Millionaire,” the “People with the Mean Dog,” and the “Family with Ridiculously Loud Cars.” </div>
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We’ve made up monikers for the majority of our neighbors either because we can’t remember what they said when we were introduced, or, I’m sad to say, because we simply have just not made an effort to meet them. Don’t get me wrong—we’re friendly. We wave and say hi to everyone regardless of whether we’ve met them or not. But sometimes after waving to the same stranger day after day, it just makes sense to meet them. And give them a real name.</div>
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Backyard fires are all the rage around here. Nearly every house in the neighborhood has a fire pit, and last weekend our neighbors invited us and several other families over for s’mores and conversation. We were able to put REAL names to faces, learn more about our neighbors than just the kind of car they drive, and hear interesting tidbits about what our neighborhood was like before we moved in. It was a good time all around, and such a simple thing to do. With or without the s’mores, a fire establishes a laid back atmosphere and immediately eliminates any pressure that might exist say over a dinner table or game night. </div>
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If you live in an area where you’re permitted to have fires in your yard, try inviting over some neighbors you don’t know very well and see what happens. I have a feeling you will be as pleasantly surprised as we were."</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-55986335774845448482014-02-24T13:15:00.003-08:002014-02-24T13:15:52.950-08:00Too Much Stuff?Do you have too much stuff? Are you drowning in a sea of your own clutter? And/or is there something you need/want that you can't afford to buy? Are you sick of having to allocate a budget for clothes or other appliances and household items that just take up too much space in your home?<br />
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Here are 3 strategies for reducing clutter and having a more communal approach to stuff:<br />
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<b>Lend/borrow.</b><br />
Do you have a growing collection of books or DVD's? An industrial strength lawnmower? An unused instrument? Power tools? Lend them to someone who you know could use them. And, rethink buying every item you need to use. Instead consider borrowing from a friend, family member, or neighbor. It reduces clutter, it's good for the environment, and your pocket book, too.<br />
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<b>Trade.</b><br />
Host a clothing swap with your neighbors, swap babysitting, rearrange furniture. Offer your old book case for a neighbor's old coffee table.<br />
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<b>Gift/Pass on.</b><br />
Is there something you own that don't need or want anymore that you know could make someone else's life easier or better. Stop holding onto it and give it away. You'll appreciate the extra space in your own home and you'll make someone else's day.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-9290514984286306972014-02-18T13:57:00.001-08:002014-02-24T12:09:27.879-08:00The Problem With This Vs. That<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Something has been bothering me lately. The recent </span><a href="http://www.npr.org/blogs/thetwo-way/2014/02/04/271648691/watch-the-creationism-vs-evolution-debate-bill-nye-and-ken-ham" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f6b26b; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">debate</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> with Bill Nye the Science Guy and creationist Ken Ham has little soundbite </span><a href="http://imgur.com/gallery/PbBTk" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f6b26b; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">infographics</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> erupting all over my Facebook feed. </span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-78a5e321-4700-4eaa-e2f4-fd0686d63426" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><a href="http://rachelheldevans.com/blog/the-cost" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f6b26b; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">It’s convenient to believe the opposing team is less educated, less thoughtful, less engaged with the world than you are.</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> But, if creationist are really the blubbering idiots the media makes them out to be, then how is this a worthy debate. Why are so many ‘team science’ people even engaging in a dialogue? Is it to truly learn something from the opposing side or is it just to obliterate a perceived opponent. If it’s the latter, I wonder...</span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What’s the REAL issue? </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If the facts really are irrefutable, why not let the facts speak for themselves? Why even engage in the debate? I have to wonder, if the debate really has nothing to do with the age of the earth or the origin of our ancestors, but instead is rooted in questions like:</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Does God exist?</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Why are we here? </span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What is our purpose?</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br class="kix-line-break" /></span>
</span><br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Because the truth is, those question do not have scientific, provable answers. Their answers exist beyond the bounds of what’s rational or reasonable. So, instead, we seek answers to questions about the age of the earth, and our relationship to it.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What are your motives?</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Is it to truly learn something or is it simply to make your point? </span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">What </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">is </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">the point?</span></span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Before engaging in the debate, ask yourself, what you stand to gain from engaging in the debate? Again, most often when I engage in a debate it’s because I want to be right. But, I think the true point of discussion and debate is to learn from one another.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Do you have a worthy opponent?</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> If the answer to this is no, then I would ask you to consider WHY you believe your opponent is not worthy? (Perhaps this question will lead you to consider your own bias and prejudice.) If you cannot arrive at a point where you think the person sitting across from you is worthy, I would argue you should not engage in the debate at all. Believing that someone else is the problem and that you yourself are not, means you are suggesting you also cannot and are not part of the solution. It’s a cop out.</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Is your position in this argument more important to you than the person/people with whom you’re arguing?</span></div>
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I hate when an opponent is made to look like a fool. This happens so often in our culture, that we don’t even think twice about the price of this kind of social bullying. But, for instance, when it comes to something like the vaccine debate, I am so sad to see the way that both sides portray one another. I want to believe that all parents involved are doing their best to make informed decisions about their children. And, yes, the stakes are high for making the ‘wrong’ choice- but the people making those choices are doing so with the information and resources available to them-in order to do what they believe is best. What if we started with that assumption when entering a debate. How would the conversation look different? What would we learn?</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Are you actually listening to the person with whom you’re debating, or simply looking for loopholes in their argument to disprove or discredit them? </span><a href="https://www.stephencovey.com/7habits/7habits-habit5.php" style="text-decoration: none;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #f6b26b; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: underline; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Seek first to understand, then to be understood.</span></a><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> It’s only from that place that you will learn anything, and it’s only from that place your ‘opponent’ will be able to hear anything you say.</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Are you preaching to the choir? </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">After the evolution vs. science debate, I found my Facebook feed was blowing up with people posting memes and infographics blasting creationists. In every case, the images posted racked up lots of support. Tons of likes and lots of comments to support the idea that the creationists in the debate were idiots and fools. I often find this is a case with a hot button issue. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We speak and write about issues that we’re passionate about only when we’re sure the audience we’re speaking with will receive the information and agree with us. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> The problem is, you rarely learn anything from people who are exactly like you. It’s our differences and our attempts to engage with and understand one another that help us to learn and grow.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><span style="color: #666666;">Loved </span><span style="color: #f6b26b;"><a href="http://chrisstedman.religionnews.com/2014/02/24/5-reasons-atheists-shouldnt-call-religion-mental-illness/"><span style="color: #f6b26b;">this piece</span></a> </span><span style="color: #666666;">on the issue.</span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-78646232970110879102014-02-15T14:13:00.002-08:002014-02-18T22:01:58.307-08:008 Signs You're Fat Shaming Your Daughter (And Why You Need to Stop)<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">8 Signs You’re Fat Shaming Your Daughter</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> If you’re doing any one of these things, stop now! Our daughters, as much as our sons, deserve a life free from judgment and shame. Women and girls deserve to be seen and heard, and not reduced to objects.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b id="docs-internal-guid-4a1d4203-3797-e7ce-df42-cc2bb173e14f" style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Here are 8 signs you’re fat shaming your daughter:</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
</span><br />
<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You put your daughter on diets. Forbid certain foods on the basis of her weight. Or, worst of all, call her out for eating foods you disapprove of.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You voice your contempt of your own body openly in front of your daughter, in hopes you can influence your daughter’s treatment of her own body.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You compare your body with your daughter’s. (EVEN if and when you do so in what you think is a positive way, “I wish I were thin, like YOU. Your body is perfect, I’m such a fatty.”)</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You withhold affection or approval of your daughter as a form of discipline.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You talk about celebrities weight gain and loss when watching television programs or movies.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You discuss friends or family members weight and appearance.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You compliment/criticize your daughter for her clothes, shoes, hair, body more than any other characteristic or accomplishment.</span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You compliment/criticize your female friends/family/acquaintances more than any other characteristic or accomplishment.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I believe that this is happening in many homes where parents are well-meaning and are loving, kind people who do not know better. We all know that there are societal pay-offs for girls who are attractive. Parents want what's best for the kids, and on a sub-conscious level, I think at times, that leads them to push unrealistic standards of attractiveness on their daughters. But at what cost? </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>Together, we can stop fat shaming and the objectification of women and girls.</b> Think of the time and energy girls and women waste everyday feeling bad about perfectly healthy, beautiful bodies because of the intense scrutiny society places on us to be thin and 'flawless.' <b>Let's rise up as a community of people who will not stand for this form of societal bullying.</b> It starts in our own homes. </span></span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-63594024414459236812014-02-10T07:00:00.000-08:002014-02-18T22:02:38.393-08:005 Signs You Should Be Giving More<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.15; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you’re like me, you may have made New Year’s resolutions to be more generous- and I don’t just mean with money. Mean with everything: time, space, money, resources. But how do you know if you’re giving enough? Sure, it would be nice to be generous simply for altruistic reasons, but most of us are far more self-serving than that! If you’re struggling with even feeling motivated to give, here are signs I’ve found extremely helpful in identifying when it may be time to simplify, live with less, and yes, GIVE more.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’re not content with what you have. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Do you have everything you need and still find yourself coveting a friend’s clothes, car, house, life? When you receive a gift, do you immediately start trying to think of ways you could accumulate more money, food, things? Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Do you struggle with feelings of dissatisfaction and ungratefulness? I know it’s counterintuitive, you may be feeling like you need or want MORE but all of these things are actually signs it’s time to start </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">giving.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Look around you, instead of asking what you could get out of every given situation, start asking yourself what you could </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">GIVE.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You feel overwhelmed by your own clutter. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Is your house filled to the brim with toys, books, crafting supplies, and clothes with the tags still on them? Is the food in your refrigerator going bad because you can’t eat what’s stuffed in it fast enough? Do you routinely overeat? Overspend? Overindulge? </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">All of these are signs of excess.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> It’s all too much! If you’re constantly wasting or frivolously spending the resources you have, it’s a sign you have too much. If you’re longing for a simpler, freer life, the first step truly is finding ways to live with less and be grateful for what you have. The very best way to do that is by giving. Set a goal of tackling your clutter. Give away whatever you aren’t truly using. Find ways to invite others to your dinner table. Spend your time and money on things that matter.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’re bored. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Do you have endless access to entertainment? Do you have so many choices you find yourself flipping through channels or scrolling through Facebook statuses instead of paying attention to the people right beside you on the bus, in front of you at the table, across from you at the checkout stand. If you want more adventure in your life, consider living a more adventurous life. How? By giving. Sign up for a local <a href="http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.9iILI3NGKhK6F/b.5962335/k.BE16/Home.htm">Big Brothers Big Sisters</a> program. Volunteer at your local elementary school or retirement community. <a href="http://www.mowaa.org/">Bring groceries to a disabled neighbor.</a> Host a refugee family in your home. Go to sites like <a href="http://kiva.org/">Kiva.org</a> and fund a microloan. </span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You’re overscheduled. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">I know. You’re wondering how these things can even be related. But, I believe overscheduling often comes from an underlying anxiety to find purpose. And though you’re spending your time striving, striving, striving, you won’t find purpose in the noise of over-scheduling your life. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Take the energy you have to DO something meaningful and actually DO something meaningful. GIVE.</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> Start by tackling your calendar and determining what’s truly important and what you’ve added to the calendar simply to feel important. Cut the excess, stop wasting your time, and find ways to give back. Use the money you save on soccer lessons for your kid with two left feet, and invest it in supporting a Compassion International child’s education. </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Note: I’m not saying extracurricular activities for your child have no meaning, but if you have ‘enrichment’ scheduled every night of the week, it’s time to reconsider and reschedule.</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You have a problem...</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">There’s an issue at work, in your neighborhood, in your home that needs to be addressed but instead of stepping up to be a part of the solution, you’ve been complaining, impatient, and passing the buck. Time to see yourself as part of the solution. Is the yard on the playground of your child’s school completely overgrown? Organize a Saturday clean up (and find volunteers to host child care and/or get older kids involved.) Tired of never having a seat on the bus because your route is always overcrowded on your way to work? Why not call your local Transportation Department and see what options there are for adding another route?</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">You feel nagged...</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Have you ever had a nagging feeling that you should adopt a child? Start a petition? Drop by to check on a friend who’s struggling with depression? Host a friend in your home who lost their job? Do you let those moments pass or do you follow up and explore what those feelings might be leading you toward? I think you’ll find that if you follow those leads, you’ll be giving more AND living more.</span></span></div>
<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><b style="font-weight: normal;"><br /><span style="background-color: transparent; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span></b>
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<div dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.15; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;">
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">If you identify with any one of the signs above, don’t worry, you’re not alone. I wrote this because I have struggled with a few of these issues myself. I know from experience that the endless striving and the constant desire for MORE is NOT the answer. The signs above are meant to help you identify ways that you may be living in excess...use them if they’re helpful, forgive yourself, and then take at least one step toward living a fuller, freer, more generous and grace-filled life today.</span></div>
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<span style="color: #666666; font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"></span><span style="font-size: 15px; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Tell me, which of these, if any, challenges you? Will you take a step?</span></span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-64381778689719678072014-02-02T00:29:00.000-08:002014-02-02T00:29:00.281-08:00The 12th ManIf you know me at all, then you know that I am not at all a sports' fan. Yet, as I've watched my community these past few weeks, I too, have been swept up in the emotion that accompanies the Superbowl hysteria.<br />
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Why? Because of the incredible ability of sporting events to bring people together. Today, people will be huddled around bars and homes around the country watching their teams compete. Here in Seattle, because our home team is playing, the hype has been even more palpable. <br />
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As we were out about town today, there were even people stationed at the bridges overlooking the freeways holding signs and cheering as passersby honked and waved. Every car, every house is decorated with Seahawks paraphernalia and the town seems alive with the anticipation of the big game.<br />
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Still, the game itself doesn't matter to me, but the sense that people are drawing near to each other because of it is what matters. And, it makes me wonder what it would look like if we gathered more often as a community to celebrate what those around us were accomplishing? <br />
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Can you imagine this kind of hysteria to cheer on a concert cellist, a local filmmaker, a climber? It would be so fun to live surrounded in that kind of enthusiasm and goodwill toward one another all the time. I just love this <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-sOPWid3DK8">send off </a> the 12th man gave the Seahawks as they left town for the Superbowl earlier this week. Just think, how can greet and send off those in your community similarly to support them in what's going in their lives?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-66575545585764986722014-01-30T14:50:00.003-08:002014-01-30T14:50:41.647-08:005 Ways to Engage a Stand Offish NeighborMeeting new neighbors can be a challenge, especially if you live in a neighborhood where most folks come and go without really saying hi or getting to know each other. Connecting with neighbors can be even harder, especially when some of your neighbors might appear stand-offish or difficult to reach. But, most people really are friendly and open to conversation once you get to know them. The trick is knowing how to engage them. Here are 5 simple steps.<div>
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1) <b>Notice things about your neighbor.</b> I'm not advocating that you stalk a neighbor or get too personal or nosy, but it is a good idea to notice things like an avid gardener's efforts paid off or a new paint color on the family down the street's house. Sometimes small things you observe can be an open door to a conversation starter. "I have always wanted to know what those flowers are..." or "I've never tried growing my tomatoes, but you've made me want to try next summer" or "Wow! I love the gray paint you picked for your house. It really stands out." Most times, people love to talk about the little ongoing projects and hobbies they are involved in. This will give you a chance to hear/know more about them.</div>
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2)Kill 'em with kindness...and food, always food. A great way to invite yourself over to someone else's house is to come bearing food. When we first moved to our neighborhood, I brought muffins to each of our three elderly neighbors. They were all so excited. And, though the 3 of them were very close knit with one another, they rarely talked to any of the young families in our neighborhood. Now, when any one of them is out of their houses- they cross the street (and risk bodily injury with all the little bikes speeding down our hill) to come and say hi.</div>
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3) Offer to help OR ask for it. If you know a neighbor is going to be out of town, offer to mow their lawn, take in and out their trash cans, or dog sit. If you are going to be gone, ask a neighbor to keep an eye on your house. Asking for and giving help builds a relationship of trust and trust is the foundation of true community.</div>
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4) Be polite. In our neighborhood, there are some issues with parking. People who live on the busy street down the way, park their cars along our street because there is no room for them to park along their own street. This can cause all sorts of frustrations. Neighbors will speed off huffily when they can't find a spot, or pin one another in when they are angry or in a rush to get home. Another friend of mine has a neighbor who writes her anonymous notes about her barking dog- leaving her to feel stressed and helpless all the time. If you have some similar issue going on in your neighborhood, think twice about how you handle yourself. If you truly want a strong, and vibrant community- treat others with love and respect even when it's hard, which sometimes it just is.</div>
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5) Be patient. If all of your efforts don't seem to be paying off, and you have a neighbor who is slow to warm, don't push it too much. But, also, don't let up. Sometimes, we give up too easily on people. Just continuing to say hi, offering the occasional kind gestures, and continuing to notice and acknowledge things about someone will likely eventually lead to an open door.</div>
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It can feel like a challenge getting to know your neighbors, especially if some neighbors don't seem like they WANT to be known. But, building a strong, interdependent community is a benefit to everyone. So, don't give up! It might take a little time and lot of heart, but you'll get there.</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-60937421158894580182014-01-21T15:20:00.002-08:002014-01-30T15:43:17.279-08:005 Ways to Increase Kids' Civic Engagement<b>Keep holiday/event appropriate books</b>, music, and art around the house so they can explore it. For Martin Luther King Jr. Day, I pull out some books specific to MLK and then a few books with broader information about Civil Rights to give my kids' context. A wonderful picture book on Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" speech is the picture book illustrated by Kefir Nelson. The illustrations are beautiful, and the excerpts chosen from the speech are easy for little ones to understand.<br />
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<b>Talk about history and relate it to them personally. </b>Talk with kids about what was going on in history during certain events and how that would have affected their lives if they had been living at that time. A great example in our own family is that I am biracial. So, when sharing with my kids about Civil Rights, I talk about the difficulties they might have faced because of discrimination against black people, and also specifically how that might have affected someone multiracial. This gives kids context and helps them to understand the significance of history as it relates to them personally.<br />
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<b>Embrace your own culture and community. </b>Talk with your kids about your heritage and why you participate in certain traditions or routines as a family. In my family, my great grandfather was part of the Civil Rights movement and took direction from Dr. King in communicating with his congregation about the latest boycott. In Lucas' family his grandparents were children of the dustbowl and experienced considerable economic hardship and discrimination. Telling kids stories of your heritage and how their ancestors overcame hardship helps them to recognize they, too, can be a part of a bigger story and, that they can make a positive difference in their community if they choose to.<br />
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<b>Talk about history and how it relates to current events</b>. What civil rights struggles are ongoing? What would Dr. King think of our nation and our world if he were living today? What is justice? What is injustice and what are some examples you can see of each in our nation and in our world? These are questions that even young kids can think about and answer. They may not answer with information about wars or international conflicts, but you'll be shocked to discover that they can recognize bullying and hatred on their own schoolyards. And, they can relate those experiences back to summoning courage and doing the right thing.<br />
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<b>Engage in learning activities</b>. For MLK day I took my older daughters to assemble disaster relief packages to be distributed to families in need around the world. While we were there, we discussed how service and helping others were two important messages of Dr. King's.<br />
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Celebrating a special person in history on a national holiday is just one of the ways you can increase civic engagement in kids. So, get started today. Educate yourself and your kids about all the wonderful ways they could be contributing to their neighborhood, their community, and their world.<br />
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And on the subject of how even children can make a big impact on their community, I love <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jU4oA3kkAWU">this video.</a> Which shares the story of how just a small group of children can change an entire community and the course of history for their small town. I love it and you will, too. Watch in <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=jU4oA3kkAWU">NOW.</a><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-91391600022446159742013-07-12T14:03:00.000-07:002013-07-12T14:03:00.124-07:00Talk Less, Do MoreIt's been a while since I have posted here, and I can't promise that I will keep up now because I just. can't. But, I hope I can! I love writing and I love talking about community and so, so many great things have happened recently that have to do with just digging in deep, loving others, and being IN community...but more to come on that...hopefully...if I can get my act together.<br />
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I recently read <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/linda-robertson/just-because-he-breathes-learning-to-truly-love-our-gay-son_b_3478971.html">this post</a> and thought it was so important to share. It makes me feel all sorts of things: sadness for this family, for this man whose life was lost too soon- but also, confusion that this mom somehow feels to blame for her son's death. I think things are a lot more complicated than that. It has also made me think about the saying, "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Is that really true? If she had said or done something different than what she did do, what would have been the outcome.<br />
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I have a dear friend who's son was recently diagnosed with an awful disease which will shorten his life and change significantly the quality of his life. Within the first few weeks of his diagnosis, so many well meaning people reached out to her to share their stories, their condolences, their advice. And so many people said and did hurtful things, many without even knowing it.<br />
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But...on the other hand...would not having said anything have been better? I'm not so sure. I know that when we are feeling desperate, scared, or alone hearing nothing but crickets around us doesn't feel comforting either.<br />
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So, what's the alternative?<br />
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I'm not sure. I'm thinking about it and I want to share my reflections with you here. My first thought, my first response, is to say to check our intentions, to tread lightly, to ask questions, to find ways to quietly support (meals, cleaning house, sending gifts, earnest prayers) when we don't have to words to say. When we haven't the faintest idea what we could or should say. When what we have to say is hurtful, judgmental, naive, or biased. <br />
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I have a feeling all of us (definitely myself included) would be talking a lot less and doing a lot more.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-73626156890077070042013-07-10T13:46:00.004-07:002013-07-10T13:46:56.464-07:00Go Small or Go HomeHave you seen <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chgsxK1rSRo">this commercial</a>? In it, the host asks children questions and they give the simplest, most straight forward answers. Things like, "would you rather play in a world class stadium or on a driveway basketball court?" The kids answer without hesitation every time! The kids without fail pick the bigger, faster, stronger item they are presented. And the tag at the end of the commercial is, "It's not complicated. Bigger is better." <br />
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But actually, it <i>is</i> complicated. Because bigger appears better (it's shinier, it's flashier, it's well...bigger) but is it truly better?<br />
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I don't think so.<br />
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A few years ago, or maybe more than a few now, I saw <a href="http://www.pbs.org/wnet/frontierhouse/project/index.html.">this series</a> on PBS. I highly encourage you to check it out. Great lessons about living a slower, simpler life.<br />
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In the series, there is a wealthy Malibu family, used to tons of space in their Malibu beach home. As they complete the six week challenge of surviving life on the frontier (simulating what families would have experienced who tried to travel west), they are confined to a small, one bedroom house to live. The results are eye-opening. Husband and wife, parents and children, and siblings all become markedly closer through the experience. <br />
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In the final episode of the series, the Malibu mom back in her palatial home notes that she misses life on the frontier, where her whole family was together, with no distractions, in their one bedroom home.<br />
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This past month, my family embarked on our own little adventure: our annual California roadtrip. There were countless hours in the car, confined to our small Honda Pilot and drawn closer together by the limited space.<br />
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Here are just a few of the <i>small</i> pleasures in life that can make <i>big</i> difference.<br />
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small intimate spaces<br />
one on one interactions<br />
small groups<br />
small portions (for sharing together, cuddled close)<br />
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If you want to experience true community, true intimacy with others might <i>smaller </i>actually be better? What do you think?<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-81385687404921627962013-04-15T06:00:00.000-07:002013-04-15T06:00:10.783-07:00They Know Cool Stuff You Don'tI came across the other day, and I just LOVE it. <br />
<img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj34aOFm26GPLpUbb1958l_Qj72ilhZU1Z-PEB5QhYGI99p-VUxZYN-4VqFGCj8_zNtS-Y7uPRdh7LwZZxbCzweuPD_DmFQvQup2BEYH6egBa_3iJJIARborhGGkgpQa9BI2XmmJCTz5ow/s640/579094_507731852620341_2110601696_n.jpg" width="640" /><br />
I feel very strongly that we've done ourselves and our community, our world a disservice by living isolated, disconnected lives.<br />
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Each day, I have the opportunity to take to a six year old, a five year old, a two year old, and an infant. If I'm listening I can learn so much. <br />
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Most days, I have the opportunity to talk to my elderly neighbors, my middle-aged parents, my husband and friends who are my peers. Am I listening? There are so, so many rich lessons to learn from each of them.<br />
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I love the idea of having a diverse array of perspectives of people who speak different languages, look different, are different ages, believe different things politically, are a different sexual orientation, are a different race, etc. etc. etc. in your life. You stand to learn so much- and I am an idealist- I think the world truly does become a better place when we take the time to really hear from and learn from one another.<br />
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What do you think? Agree or disagree?<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-92191422958319999592013-04-12T06:30:00.000-07:002013-04-12T06:30:00.818-07:00I'll Say it Again: Don't Let the Perfect Be the Enemy of the GoodThe other night in the middle of the night, I woke up in a cold sweat with a friend on my heart. This friend has two small little boys and a sweet baby girl on the way and she's on bed rest.<br />
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I can't even imagine.<br />
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Small children demand so much time and energy, and they can't understand that you may or may not be in the best physical or emotional position to give it to them when you are pregnant. That's hard enough even when you AREN'T on bedrest.<br />
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Up until the other day, I had not visited my friend once. But that night, laying awake in my bed, thinking of her, I knew I had to.<br />
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So, I decided that I would text my friend the next day and see if I could drop by. The only time I had available was after Norah's pick up from school which meant that I wouldn't be arriving until late afternoon (I ended up not being there until 4:30.) And, most times, for most stay at homes moms, that's the home stretch. In other words, it felt a little like, what's the point? But, I decided not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good and I texted my friend anyway.<br />
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To be honest, I didn't want to go. It wasn't because I don't love my friend, I do. And it wasn't because I didn't want to see her, I did. But, it takes a lot of energy and effort to load up all my kids and go somewhere. Plus, I knew I wanted to bring my friend a meal and I can barely manage to get a meal on the table for my own family these days. So, the situation wasn't ideal.<br />
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But, again, I decided not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good and we went. The three littler kids and I went to pick up Norah at school. We headed for Whole Foods and bought a few packaged items we thought would make a good meal. It took all of 10 minutes. Albeit, I had to listen to the kids whining the whole time and we made two bathroom breaks in the store, but truly it wasn't nearly the big deal I had made it out to be in my mind.<br />
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Then, we headed out for my friend's house. When we got there, her kids were so excited to see friends and they played. Hard. For like, 3 hours. My friend asked if we might stay for dinner, it turned out her husband was working late. So, we did. And, I left a message with Lucas letting him know. But, get this, it turned out HE was also working late which is so, so hard on me when I am alone with all 4 kids.<br />
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So, the two of us mamas together managed to entertain, feed, and clean up after the kids (all without having my friend move too much...she could still hold baby Grant, read books, and cuddle with kiddos while I did meal prep and clean up.)<br />
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It was a lovely afternoon/evening for us both. I left feeling rejuvenated, too. And, my day and my kids' days were brightened just as much as hers.<br />
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I can be a bit hard-headed. As much as this community thing feels great in theory, it can be hard to live it. But, yesterday, as is always the case, I was so, so glad I did.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-16794291262306929992013-04-10T08:09:00.002-07:002013-04-10T08:09:39.555-07:00Love WinsThere are so many hard things going on in the lives of people I love: cancer, autism, death, sick kids, bed rest, infertility, unemployment. I just feel so helpless. I want to DO something.<br />
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I've realized I can't change a lot of what's going on for those I care about, (these are BIG things, God things) but I can be kind in little ways everyday to them and to all those I encounter through out the day.<br />
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So, I'm planning some random acts of kindness that I think will be so, so fun.<br />
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Random flower deliveries, anonymous money in mailboxes, meals and hand me downs, surprise visits, care packages. It's taken my mind off of the very real pain going on just planning all of it!<br />
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What could you do to brighten the lives of those around you? How could you bring hope and love into someone's day today?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-67119376833672781842013-03-31T21:10:00.004-07:002013-03-31T21:10:53.782-07:00Slow Down and LingerThis afternoon after attending Easter service this morning and brunch afterwards, we spent most of the day lounging around in our front yard. Neighbors came in out as the day went on, and we parked ourselves there until pretty much sunset.<br />
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One neighbor brought over ice cold beers to share. We brought out cold drinks for the kids. Another neighbor had chips and guacamole, another still had toys they dumped across the rows of lawns for all the kids. At one point, I brought out some boiled eggs and a bunch of bowls full of dye. It was an activity I planned to do just with my kids, but I realized, why not include all the kids?<br />
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We ended up all sitting outside of our yard, and talking the day away. It was fantastic. Everyone shared what they had, and that led to a much, much more abundant bounty than any of us individually could have produced. I looked around at all the kids and a couple of the baby girls on the block were wearing hand-me-downs that were once the girls' clothes. Grant, too, wore another neighborhood boy's old duds. It was awesome!<br />
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It was another reminder to keep time and space open in our lives to allow others in. We were able to postpone dinner, and delay any plans we might have had in order to gather outside with all of our neighbors. And it was so, so worth it.<br />
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What about you? What could you do to slow down the pace of your daily living to let others' in? This is definitely the time of year to do it. In the spring and summer months it feels much more organic to linger out of doors and just naturally run into others on the street. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-31697576655331284232013-03-26T21:11:00.003-07:002013-03-26T22:23:54.620-07:00I'm NOT Buying 'Em and Neither Should You: Victoria's Secret Aims New Marketing Campaign at Young Girls<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpm2FrryWLhh5W-EPpTjvUvazhAchvBtG9vNfzSKzjDkHoISIKYhRIv22FC3vucOyXuz_dFFSCq1sE-TsRIOo7COM3cb8-fn24gw7QtHlruIuQpwKyY8E4Ix3BykaEM6mKJXbGNuyYt6g/s1600/mbuOScMsKZYFzoT-556x313-noPad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a>I believe in the power of community, friends. So, I'm asking for your help.<br />
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This week, I learned about Victoria's Secret's marketing campaign for their line PINK, a brand supposedly aimed at college girls. For Spring Break 2013, their slogan is: "Bright Young Things." I. Am. Livid. The thong panties released as part of the campaign feature statements such as "Dare You," "Wild," and "Call Me" emblazoned on the backside.<br />
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Before I ever became a parent, I feel like I heard and read much about the growing dangers of sexual predators. We've become hyper vigilant about protecting our children from the suspected molester lurking in the shadows. We are suspicious of our neighbors and afraid to let our children venture far beyond our front doors.<br />
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But, there is another huge force preying on our children that we've neglected to protect them from-and it's just as dangerous: the constant barrage of overtly sexual marketing aimed at children, young girls in particular.<span class="userContent"><i> "According to the American Psychological
Association, the girlie-girl culture’s emphasis on beauty and
play-sexiness can increase girls’ vulnerability to the pitfalls that
most concern parents: depression, eating disorders, distorted body
image, risky sexual behavior.</i><span class="text_exposed_show"><i>"</i> -Peggy Orenstein, <i>Cinderella Ate My Daughter</i>.</span></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpm2FrryWLhh5W-EPpTjvUvazhAchvBtG9vNfzSKzjDkHoISIKYhRIv22FC3vucOyXuz_dFFSCq1sE-TsRIOo7COM3cb8-fn24gw7QtHlruIuQpwKyY8E4Ix3BykaEM6mKJXbGNuyYt6g/s1600/mbuOScMsKZYFzoT-556x313-noPad.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpm2FrryWLhh5W-EPpTjvUvazhAchvBtG9vNfzSKzjDkHoISIKYhRIv22FC3vucOyXuz_dFFSCq1sE-TsRIOo7COM3cb8-fn24gw7QtHlruIuQpwKyY8E4Ix3BykaEM6mKJXbGNuyYt6g/s1600/mbuOScMsKZYFzoT-556x313-noPad.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A pair of underwear released as a part of the marketing campaign, "Bright Young Things" by Victoria's Secret.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
In other words, this type of marketing is not without consequence. This new Spring Break marketing campaign pressures girls into thinking that promiscuous sex is just another rite of passage every girl needs to experience to have fun on spring break, whether or not she is old enough to consent or is ready to make adult decisions about her health and her body is none of Victoria's Secret's concern. Our daughters deserve better. And, yes, as parents we can make decisions to counteract these messages in our homes, but there needs to be a larger societal shift in what we allow, what we buy into, and simply what we buy. Because this isn't about imposing some modern-day chastity belt on young girls. This is
about the collective messages girls receive about their
capabilities, and about their value- and about who stands to profit when a girl's aspirations shift from who she can be to who she should sleep with or who she should look like in order to be seen, heard, and loved.<br />
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Since coming under fire this week, Victoria's Secret has insisted their campaign is just a "slogan" and their line PINK is aimed at college girls, not younger teens. But, I don't believe them. The Limited is a corporate giant, with very skilled marketers promoting their brands. A team of advertisers carefully considers every angle of every new campaign before it's released. The vague title, "Bright Young Things" leaves us to wonder what are the <i>things</i>? The clothes? The girls? The ambiguous ages of the gaunt, youthful models featured leaves interpretation of "young" up to the imagination. The panties themselves bedazzled with bling, neon colors, and seemingly playful statements are more befitting of what would otherwise be seen in the tween section of your local department store if it weren't for the fact that they're thongs. <br />
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Victoria's Secret knows exactly what they're doing. When a pedophile does it, it's called grooming. Carefully calculated acts that in and of themselves can be interpreted as playful, even innocent when called into question. But, you and I know better, Victoria's Secret. And <i>I'm</i> not buying 'em: the panties OR the excuses.<br />
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<i>Please, if you haven't already, go and sign the petition to pull this marketing campaign at <a href="http://www.change.org/brightyoungthings">www.change.org/brightyoungthings</a>. Together, we can positively affect the world our girls live in and how they see themselves in it.</i><br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-83821137874269846122013-03-10T22:36:00.002-07:002013-03-10T22:40:12.165-07:00Don't Let the Perfect Be the Enemy of the Good It's been a while since I've written here, and honestly, it's because there is something on my heart that I have yet to do: talk to our neighbor!<br />
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Our elderly neighbor just had surgery, and I want so badly to talk with her husband to see how she is doing but I am having a hard time deciding what is appropriate. I know he's a quiet man, and doesn't like a lot of attention- but I SO want to know how our family can show him and his wife love.<br />
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It's a scary thing to knock on a door, to pick out a gift (not knowing what someone might like), to ask about someone (who may not be doing well, who may not have made it at all). And, though it's such a romantic notion to care for our neighbors- sometimes it really can be (in the day to day) a difficult thing to do.<br />
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I know, too, that my girls just LOVE our neighbor so very much. They draw her pictures, and talk about her all the time. Selfishly, I don't want to know if she is not doing well- because I feel so scared to have to tell them that! But, I know what I have to do. I can no longer let the perfect be the enemy of the good.<br />
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I'll keep you posted...<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-25893738887305903922013-02-20T08:35:00.000-08:002013-02-20T11:28:42.212-08:00Reach Out<br />
<span class="quote">"I don’t believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking
like something, like it. That’s what’s wrong with our generation: that
residual punk rock guilt, like, “You’re not supposed to like that.
That’s not fucking cool.” Don’t fucking think it’s not cool to like
Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” It is cool to like Britney Spears’ “Toxic”! Why
the fuck not? Fuck you! That’s who I am, goddamn it! That whole guilty
pleasure thing is full of fucking shit." -Dave Grohl</span>
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"Accept the risk of vulnerability. Do not let
fear paralyze your life. Wanting, reaching out and letting yourself hope
makes you vulnerable. At least by putting yourself on the line, you
have the chance of getting what you want, as opposed to hurting with no
chance of getting what you want. Not to venture is to lose yourself." -Dr. Phil<br />
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<span class="quote">Watching my kids play, it's clear that the older we are in life, the more guarded we are in relationships. When my kids enjoy someone's company, they say so. Inviting a friend over again and again to play- never worried about if they will come off as overly eager. They take such delight in unplanned, unfettered time spent running around the school yard together or playing make believe in the backyard. They don't seem to mind much if their friends are older or younger, taller or shorter, boys or girls, or even if they speak the same language. None of that gets in the way of just being together with other kids.</span><br />
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<span class="quote">When's the last time you said to someone, "Hey, I like you. I want to be your friend"? I would guess it's been since childhood. And yet, there is no better way to reach out to someone. If you like someone, say so. If you want to spend more time with someone, invite them into your life whether it's messy or tightly controlled, wildly complicated or extremely boring. Even if it's painfully awkward or deeply embarrassing- whatever you do, REACH OUT.</span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-73883899631180723722013-02-18T07:00:00.000-08:002013-02-18T07:00:06.330-08:00On Saying Yes...AgainOh, birthday parties...they really stress me out. I have friends who are so great about coordinating these awesome parties with amazing cakes and beautiful decorations. And, the thing is I love to do those things, too. But, I am just not in a place right now where I can do those things! (Maybe next year.)<br />
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I refuse to let the pressure get to me, though. I tried to convince Avery to do a big event and pick just one friend to share it with (you know, a concert, a sporting event, etc.) But, the girl is a socialite and after much thought she just couldn't be swayed- she wanted a party.<br />
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At first, I felt really stressed about it and then I decided to do the unthinkable: send a mass text to her friends' parents, pick out a movie to have the kids watch together, pop some popcorn for the kids as a treat and call it good. To Avery, it was pure awesomeness even though for me it's delightfully easy and simple.<br />
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I know there have been and will be years again where I can get elaborate with the party planning (it's fun for me and for my kids) but it doesn't have to be!<br />
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I am saying YES to celebrating without the stress this year.<br />
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How about you? Are there things you've been avoiding altogether because they stress you out? Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good! Say YES!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-90371316651365790792013-02-14T08:00:00.000-08:002013-02-14T08:00:10.906-08:00Happy Valentine's Day: Give Unexpected Love to Someone Today!I love holidays. Even ones like Valentine's Day that are highly commercialized. But, you don't have to buy big balloons, overpriced flowers, and an expensive dinner to enjoy the day with those you love. Simple tokens of love mean just as much.<br />
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Our pastor is doing a series on intimacy at church, and a few weeks ago when the topic was on being single, our pastor urged us to look around our network of friends and loved ones. If that group of people looks just like us, it's time for a change. The challenge is not to just find token representations of diversity in our life, but to engage with those in our lives we may have previously ignored because they seem too different from us to connect with.<br />
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I think Valentine's Day is a perfect time to start thinking about people in our lives who might need an extra reminder of your love. A small bar of chocolate on a neighbor's door step, a card telling someone how much they mean to you, or a gesture inviting a coworker you don't know very well out for coffee or lunch.<br />
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What can you do to brighten someone's Valentine's Day and remind them that they are loved? <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-29038266260265133362013-02-12T07:00:00.000-08:002013-02-13T12:40:46.035-08:00Make Your Wish Come True For Someone ElseOne of the best things I've learned in my marriage is if I'm wishing that my husband would do something for me, I should do it for him. For instance, if I'm wishing he'd plan a romantic getaway or a spontaneous adventure- instead of expecting him to do it, I do! It's amazing how often when I do this, I feel great and it strengthens our marriage.<br />
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Lately, I've been taking the same approach with my community. For instance, it's really difficult for me to haul all of my kids up the long flight of stairs to and from drop offs to school for my grade schooler and preschooler. But, instead of spending so much time wishing someone would do it for me, I've started to look around. There are other moms in my situation and I can offer to take their child up the stairs with mine. It doesn't take me any extra effort to have one more grade schooler or preschooler tagging along with mine and it brightens another mom's day and mine in return<i>. </i>It takes the focus off what I think I <i>should</i> have to what I think I could <i>give</i>. <br />
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Try it. Is there something you wish you didn't have to do? Instead of complaining, do it for yourself and take it off of someone else's plate as well. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-16724293358976558702013-02-08T07:00:00.000-08:002013-02-08T07:00:03.712-08:00Choosy Moms...Remember the slogan, "Choosy Moms Choose JIFF." I have to say, we are good at being choosy in our culture, aren't we?<br />
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Recently, I've seen a number of <a href="http://www.scarymommy.com/rules-for-visiting-a-new-mom/">these</a> blog posts going around and though I think it can be helpful to offer advice on how to serve others (that's what a lot of this site is about!) something feels off about these posts to me.<br />
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Do we really want to be so choosy about how other people offer to be generous to us? I've written before on this site about saying <a href="http://www.frontyardfrontier.com/2012/01/say-yes-to-mess.html">YES!</a> Saying yes to the mess in your house and inviting someone over anyway. Saying yes when you are invited out with a friend even if it isn't the most convenient thing in the world. Saying yes when others ask for or offer help. This just doesn't feel like saying yes to me.<br />
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Here's the thing: you don't get to choose how people give to you. You can't go around demanding that other people show you a certain kind of love just because you got married/had a baby/got a new job/moved to a new neighborhood/got sick- WHATEVER. <a href="http://www.frontyardfrontier.com/2013/01/take-their-love.html"> Accepting what other people have to offer </a>means accepting what <i>they</i> have to offer not accepting what <i>you</i> think they SHOULD offer. <br />
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I find it so freeing to let go of expectations and assumptions. Can I suggest it's fun to be surprised by the generosity of others? And also, think about this for yourself- are you giving to others because you SHOULD. That takes so much fun out of the process. The best givers I know, give with an open and excited spirit not out of some burdening sense of obligation. The best givers I know recognize there is no such thing as altruism and that it is rewarding to give.<br />
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So...what do you think? Are you able to accept what other people have to offer or are you always expecting something more/less/different/bigger/smaller...whatever? Do you have fun when you give or is a burden to you?<br />
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As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5339711504606561771.post-89995996508333164602013-01-24T08:00:00.000-08:002013-01-24T08:00:03.826-08:00BOGOI have a friend who always thinks of me whenever there's a buy one, get one free deal. Instead of buying 2 of an item for herself, she buys one for herself and one for me. No matter how many times she does it, it always surprises and excites me. I always feel loved, and thought of, and grateful. <br />
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I love the idea that instead of taking home more than you need, pass along the extra item to someone else who could benefit. The next time you have leftovers from a meal you just cooked, consider an elderly neighbor or a friend who just had a baby. If you're out running an errand, check in with a working mom on your block to see if you can pick something up for her.<br />
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All small gestures that don't require any extra effort in daily living, but brighten another person's day.<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10430429105254006885noreply@blogger.com2