Judged

Image from this month's issue of Glamour

I recently read this article about a poll Glamour magazine did to find out how hard we as women are on each other when it comes to judging one anothers' bodies.

Living in California, I felt strongly that the way I looked could impact whether or not I had friends,  and most women I knew (actually I think I can honestly say almost ALL) were focused on their appearance and weight to an extent that was not healthy. 

For the past year, I have battled my weight, and gone on and off the weight loss ban wagon, in hopes of maintaining a body weight that my body just doesn't want to maintain.  Recently, I decided to see what would happen if I just stopped worrying so much about it.  In other words, I decided to give myself some grace.

I'd love to tell you that this experiment went really well and I now accept myself exactly as I am.  But, I cannot tell you that because I still battle with thinking and saying hurtful things about myself and my body.

What does this have to do with community?

I actually think a lot. 

If judging one anothers' bodies is a barrier to building connections with others, that's a problem.  Think of all of the wonderful opportunities you could miss out on in terms of friendships because you have (maybe even subconsciously) judged someone else based on her appearance.  And, of course, it isn't just weight.  It's age, and race and a whole list of other things that pit us against one another at first glance. 

So, I have a challenge for us this week.  It's actually pretty eye opening.  Notice how often you have a critical thought about someone based on their appearance.  Notice how critical you are not just of the real women you meet or encounter daily, but also those you see in magazines or on television.  If your first thought about a woman  on a television show is, "she's aged" or "her botox is really not doing what she thinks it is" or "wow, she's gained/lost weight."  Check yourself.  We were made for so much more than that!  And, I guarantee you there is an incredible relationship waiting behind the barriers of your own judgments.